It is quite uplifting from time to time to peruse a book that is not a novel. In fact, it is a book about language, and what language that is!
Here are a few examples of gorgeosities:
How are you? - May I enquire as to whether you are in receipt of a state of bodily wellness?
Oh no, not you again - Tish and pish, has the restraining order already expired?
Pleased to meet you - I tingle in your presence.
Hi, allow me to introduce myself - Greetings, pleasure me with permission to present myself to you for evaluation as a potential friend, lover or colleague.
I can read you like a book. I bet you’re great between the covers. - Your forehead appears to have about seventy thousand
words imprinted thereupon. I’d hazard that you are accomplished in the rumpy-pumpy department.
Every cloud has a silver lining - Every visible collection of fluffy, floating water particles possesses a surface layer of a lustrous, pliable metallic element of the atomic number forty-seven.
Oi, taxi! - Forgive my shouting in the street in this rather vulgar manner, but I should like to reserve the usagenosity of your taximeter cabriolet for a journey to... oh, fiddlesticks, someone else has beaten me thereto.
